Frequently Asked Questions:
Is there life on Mars?
​
No one has been there to find out, not even the Royal Mail. However, you’ll be pleased to hear that the Royal Mail can deliver your goods to anywhere within the UK.
Cards are sent by Royal Mail. If you’re far beyond the smog and the hills such as the UK Highlands and Channel Islands, you’ll pay a surcharge. I know it sucks. But hey! I’m sure it’s nicer than living on Mars.
Why is it that you always choose the slowest queue?
​
That’s called Sod’s Law. What’s also Sod’s Law is being a victim of the vagaries of a country's mail system. International orders are sent by regular airmail and are as unpredictable as queues. This means it can take as long at it takes depending on what country you’re in. Yep. It’s a mad, mad, mad world.
​
Why do teapots drip?
​
It’s down to wettability and it’s one of those annoying facts of life, as is something bad happening to your order such as damage or being lost.
If this happens to your order, contact Rusty Pencil asap - or at least within 7 days - and we’ll be happy to replace it. If it’s damaged please send it back to Rusty Pencil. We’ll refund the postage. You can rest easy with a nice cuppa and a biscuit.
​
​
​
​
You’re entitled to an exchange or refund within 14 days of your purchase. Please note that the product must be returned unused and in its original packaging and in resaleable condition. In the case of a refund, the original shipping cost and return shipping cost will not be repaid. The return address is in the contact section.
Is there such a thing as a free lunch?
​
That's something that everyone in the trade asks. If you're a retailer and fancy stocking some fab Rusty Pencil cards email patrick@rustypencil.com. We'll discuss prices, and terms and conditions. This may or may not involve a free lunch.
​
Is it safe?
​
'Is it safe?' This is what that nasty dentist in the film Marathon Man asked as he drilled a big hole in Dustin Hoffman's tooth. Equally nasty and painful is not knowing how safe you payment is. This website has SSL Secure Shopping at checkout so you can be assured your payment is safe from any nasties.
​
Is Melania Trump an alien?
​
Yes.