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Writer's pictureRusty Pencil

'Funny 80th birthday cards for mums are rubbish,' says grumpy old mum.

Updated: 5 days ago


Montage of 1960s British icons: The Beatles, Lulu, Jean Shrimpton, go-go boots, Dusty Springfield, miniskirts.
The cool, fun times of the Sixties – a teenage girl’s dream?

Don’t give your 1960s fun-loving mum rubbish birthday cards!

“People think that the 60s was cool and swinging,” recounts Dorothy, a cranky 80-year-old mother who grew up in the 1960s.

 

“I can tell you that there’s nothing cool about wearing a polyester miniskirt on a cold winter’s day - it was frigging freezing. My knees were like a bag of frozen chicken thighs from Lidl.

 

“And the only time I remember swinging was from a chandelier after I took some LSD at aunty Jean’s 21st birthday party. I still can hear the plates smashing as I crashed onto the dining table.

 

“Those go-go boots were lethal too. I went head-over-heels running after the 29 bus when a heel snapped off. The tumble ruined my beehive, but at least my pet gerbil popped out as he got lost in there the week before. I thought he’d gone forever. Poor bugger.

 

“You could say I’ve seen and done a lot, so nothing fazes me,” says the tough old cookie. “So bring on some proper funny birthday cards.”


Funny 80th birthday cards for your mum.

With all that excitement and zest for life in mind, your mum wouldn’t want a dull birthday card for her 80th birthday, would she?

 

So here’s a wide selection of funny – and some rude - 80th birthday cards for her.

 

Along with experience and wisdom that comes with age, is the prospect of being a little bit Mutt and Jeff, as well as having the odd ache and pain.

 

Here are some 80th age cards from Rusty Pencil’s Aches & Pains range for that mum who keeps saying “Aye, pardon?” and “Ooo! Argh! That hurts!”


Funny 80th birthday card about being deaf.
Funny 80th birthday card about elbows, knees and hips clicking.
Funny 80th birthday card about having bunions.
Funny 80th birthday card about being an old fart with a hearing aid.

Funny 80th cards for mums who love gardening.

Hitting eighty doesn’t mean your mum isn’t active and generally being a nuisance. She probably likes being busy in the garden swearing at the weeds in the lawn or hissing at the aphids nibbling her prized roses.

 

Treat her to a humorous gardening card, perhaps one with the jolly amiable Gardeners’ World presenter Monty Don, or maybe another punny gardening card about orchids.

 

Have a peek at our Gardeners’ Word range and funny gardening cards range.


80th birthday card with Monty Don saying well done to reach 80 years of age.
Rude birthday card with a gardening hoe. You're hoe old?
Funny birthday card with a roll of turf. It must be turf being your age.
An illustration of orchids with a butterfly. Orchidding me pun.
Funny illustration of carrots with a worm saying How old? I carrot believe it pun card.

Witty 80th birthday cards for your mum.

Does your mum have a sharp-edged tongue? Does she like a spot of wit? We bet she does. From Rusty Pencil’s Quips range, a small selection for the quick-witted 80-year-old.


Funny old age birthday card with a graphic image of an old woman bending over with a walking stick and aching back.
Funny female birthday card with an image of two balloons.

Funny female birthday card about having half the metabolism with an image of a tortoise.

Funny 80th cards that are a little bit different.

Not all 80th birthday cards should be nice and fancy and fluffy. They have their place, usually in the bin. Maybe something different might be in order, with sharp wit and a hint of rudeness. Rusty Pencil’s Best Mates range might be what she’ll appreciate.

Witty 80th birthday card about having hairy ears and nose.
Funny birthday card about being a silly old fart.
Funny birthday about being bought from the very wrinkly section.

Naughty but nice 80th birthday cards.

A spot of cheekiness always goes down well with any 80-year-old. They’re immune to cheeky banter! These cards are from our Suburban Killers range.

Cheeky birthday card about having grey hairs that match.
Witty 80th birthday card about having 80 chin hairs.
Witty birthday card about look after yourself as antiques rust.
Cheeky birthday card about having velcro shoes.

Rude birthday cards? We’ve got some for that naughty 80-year-old mum.

Is your mum really nice but sometimes a little naughty? There’s nothing wrong with the odd sweary card if it makes her smile. Naughty girl.


Rude birthday card about having enough room for cake.
Rude 80th birthday card about being awesome.

Rude 80th birthday card. 80 is just a number but it fucking aches.

More funny and rude 80th birthday cards for mum this way.

So, there you have it. A selection of funny and rude cards for your 80-year-old mum, or for any other old mum, for that matter.


For more funny birthday cards, have a peek at Rusty Pencil.










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